she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
