We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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