I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
