Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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