Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
