we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
