Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
