You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
As shirtless as possible
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
false alarm, still single
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
