I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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