Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
