im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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