i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
