If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
