i barfeds in our rink
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
