To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
