I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She's the barista slut.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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