I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
