I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
