shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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