Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
