I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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