Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
