I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
