could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
