At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
