GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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