his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
