I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
