Acid is not a monday night drug
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
