im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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