don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Your cock deserves a montage
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
