Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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