when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
