roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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