so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
