"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
