Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
