Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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