i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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