I want to make a zoo with you.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
