Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
