: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
