help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
