she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
