After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
