i already hear my dad disowning me
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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