I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
