So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
