She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
