you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
